Staying Still

by Deerful

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    Silver glitter cassette tape (we've run out of sage green and pink!) with a printed cover and label illustrated by Emma.

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1.
Some Nights 03:38
VERSE Are you ever coming home? You spent the springtime with the world upon your shoulders And a girl upon your shoulders You were wasting time. And when you were alone You spent the summer waiting up inside your window In a town that didn't want you You were doing fine CHORUS Some nights When we fall asleep We are falling away As we dream about a time when We will lie with another At the end of the day VERSE And then there came a time, The day you realised the city didn't love you You were drinking in the sinking sun with all your friends And so you ran away You paid no mind to all the ties that used to bind you Stuck a pin into the map to justify the ends BRIDGE Are you scared of staying still Or something closer to dying? Did you mean it when you said you'd be okay? She told you she would take you if she saw that you were trying Even minutes can feel like days Even minutes can feel like days CHORUS And some nights We can smile at each other If there's nothing to say Tell me stories of the good times If you don't set a path Then you can't lose the way
2.
Better 03:28
There were pictures in my head and I saw them in the morning In the afternoon the evening and the night They told me I'd be better, and they said you were a good man When I found myself awake before the light. They put me in a room and I did as you had told me As they kept me there and said that it was right I slept and when I woke I believed that it was morning In the afternoon the evening and the night I believed my life would be exactly as I made it I believed a future lay within my sight I believed there'd come a day when we'd sing through the morning Through the afternoon the evening and the night Through the afternoon the evening and the night
3.
The Waves 02:42
A dream she set fire to the nests in the orchard A dream that she cried watching them burn A dream she got lost on the shore of a wasteland A dream of a globe that continued to turn She wishes to be a poet, a lover She wishes a life that is different and new She wishes to know the divine, the specific She wishes a life that is distant and true A dream she stepped out from the bank of the river A dream she ran out of the right things to say A dream that she went there with stones in her pockets A dream she was gone by the break of the day
4.
VERSE You know that you're lost And you hope to be found And you count down the minutes, You count down the minutes You make yourself rules And you try not to drown And you count down the minutes, You count down the minutes CHORUS I just want you to see me Through the spaces in my armour wearing thin I'm just trying to reach you Hold on until you hear the violins VERSE You wish you were gone As you stand in the dark And you count down the minutes You count down the minutes And the tick of the clock Is the beat of your heart And you count down the minutes You count down the minutes CHORUS Trying to get you to hear me Calling out the hidden places I have been I just want you to know me But the end for you is the place where I begin

about

Staying Still was written in the summer of 2015, mostly from my bed, sometimes from a friend's sofa or under a tree in the park at the end of my road. It's a record about stasis and feeling stuck, failed attempts at escape and at being heard, intrusive thoughts and stuffing them down.

It's also a record about recovery and renewal, although I didn't know that at the time.

I'm releasing it on cassette because I love cassettes, even though I know nobody has the means to play them.

I hope you enjoy it.

credits

released July 8, 2016

All music, lyrics, and artwork by Emma Winston.
Mixed by Darren Hayman.
Mastered by Ian Button.

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all rights reserved

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about

Deerful London, UK

I'm Deerful, aka Emma Winston.

I write lush, sad electropop about feelings on synthesisers small enough to use on the bus, and in tiny live-coding environments.

I love making music more than anything in the world.
... more

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